Saturday, January 26, 2008

The Fat Agenda

The Republican Agenda
The Democratic Agenda
The Gay Agenda
The Black Agenda
The Mormon Agenda
The Corporate Agenda

It seems that everyone has an agenda these days - except Overweight and Obese People. So today I kickoff the Official.........

Fat Agenda

Won't you join me?

  • Let's demand wider sidewalks; actually let's demand sidewalks
  • Let's demand wider plane seats
  • Let's demand bakeries be abolished
  • Let's demand that the food companies stop trying to make us feel in control by putting foods into snack size portions which they know we won't each just one; then raping us on the price
  • Let's demand that economics and the law of supply and demand actually start to work in our favor.......if 60+% of the world is overweight or obese why the hell are "diet" foods more money and why the hell are large and extra large sizes priced higher. Make the damn skinny twits pay more!
  • Let's demand the death penalty for anyone who sells ice cream
  • Let's demand that more money be given to parks and recreation
  • Let's demand the death penalty for any derogatory remarks by people who just don't understand our struggle
  • Let's demand that the Commander in Chief shop in a Big, Tall, Fat, or Plus Size store and have their clothes tailored to a smaller size if need be
  • Let's demand the Commander in Chief use their legs a bit more as the vehicle of choice
  • Let's demand free vegetable gardens for everyone
  • Let's demand people stop charging for water
With that said, I think we should vote the fattest candidate for President. After all, they will have our best interests in mind.

What do you think? Do you have a demand to add to the agenda?

Or should we just eat right, get off our asses and exercise, and lose and keep the weight off to shift the balance of power?


At 4:37 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Using your Law of Supply & Demand, they should also charge the damn skinny twits more for gym memberships. After all, they don't need them as much as we do! But I've got to admit, your last paragraph makes the most sense. I vote for shifting the balance of power.

At 4:38 PM, Anonymous skinny fan said...

So when are YOU running for President?

At 8:03 AM, Blogger The Big Kid said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

At 8:05 AM, Blogger The Big Kid said...

Me run for President. I'm way too liberal for this world.

And let's not forget my past.


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