Thanksgiving is Cancelled This Year

Thanksgiving is cancelled this year.

There will be no stuffing. No mashed potatoes. No green bean casserole.
There will be no turkey. No creamed onions. No apple pie. No Pumpkin pie.
There will also be no nasty minced meat pie. (and why the hell do they call it minced meat when there is not meat in it.)
There will be no excessive drinking brought on by relatives who are insensitive to your needs and desires about living a longer and healthier life.
There will be no leftovers to worry about eating after everyone has gone.
There will be no fights over who has to clean up as there will be nothing to clean up.

In an effort to fight the obesity epidemic I am canceling Thanksgiving. Please join me in conquering obesity; pass this message along by clicking here: